@Parentpains: I'm not an olympic sprinter, I just run like one when my ex wants to talk.
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@knot_eye: I often wondered what it'd be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while.
@tackoftheJar: *Sandra Bullock floating around in the background of all the new Star Wars movies*
@FuckabillyRex: If you didn't wanna see 157 pictures of me eating cake, you shouldn't have put me in charge of the PowerPoint presentation, boss.