@Parentpains: I'm not an olympic sprinter, I just run like one when my ex wants to talk.
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@daplusk: [date] Me: Have you ever had it so deep your toes curl? Her: No, I'd love that Me: [pulls out 15th century poetry book] get ready Her: um
@Ristolable: HI MOM. YOU'RE GONNA BE SO PROUD. I JUST WON AN ARGUMENT ON THE INTERNET. Sorry caps lock was still on from the argument. But I won.