@just1fool: I'm not gullible but she said I was the best she's ever had and then to wait by the phone for instructions on how to get my wallet back.
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@clemdytan: My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk.
@TitaniumToplass: Just wrote "except for you, spiders >:(" on my Welcome mat so that should be the end of that
@ryangriffiths: I don't think people understand the potential ramifications when they say to me "just be yourself".