@just1fool: I'm not gullible but she said I was the best she's ever had and then to wait by the phone for instructions on how to get my wallet back.
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@jackiembouvier: Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks.
@Rollinintheseat: Coworker: "How was your weekend?" Me: "You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions."
@TheBoydP: Mammals for $500 Alex "Slow moving mammals that spend most of their time sleeping & eating" What are sloths? "Wrong, What are coworkers"