@KelFocker: I'm not homophobic, I love my house!
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@JiminyKicksIt: I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it 'cuz it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
@DeanB15: I think the only job requirement you need to become a TSA agent, is to know how to do a really good eye roll while you're chewing gum.
@koalaslament: if I was ever in prison I'd quickly assert dominance by giving everyone a fabulous makeover
@LackOfShame: [their last appetizer] Her: I don't want it. You have it. Him: I don't want it either, you... Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it