@KelFocker: I'm not homophobic, I love my house!
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@daemonic3: Mr. Trump, who's your Secretary of State? TRUMP: To deal with China, one that speaks Mandarin [remembers to appeal to women] or Womandarin
@RandomAntics: we should be using all the time technology frees up to expand language, not shorten it. instead of 'prolly' try 'probababably.'
@QwertyJones3: [arguing with my wife] WELL AT LEAST I DON'T BRING UP THINGS FROM THE PAST LIKE YOU DID LAST MONTH
@animadvertguy: 1816: a grizzly bear ate my mom as she fetched drinking water. 1916: I'm in a muddy trench, bleeding internally. 2016: IM OFFENDED!