@MrPooni: "I'm not racist but..."
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@Mr_goose007: The pot called the kettle black. The pot is silver............we now have a situation in the kitchen.
@noog: If you watch Wall-E backwards its about a little robot that would rather live alone forever than deal with fat people.
@JohnLyonTweets: Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
@eyeswidebutt: [dinner table] gfs dad: so what do you do for a living me: human trafficking *he chokes* gf: he's a crossing guard dad