@MrPooni: "I'm not racist but..."
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@Blonde4Dayz: H: "Whatcha doing?" Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"
@ArfMeasures: MURDERER: [looking for me] You better of hidden well or you're dead ME: [under bed, tears in my eyes] It's better HAVE
@Marlebean: I tried to cover myself in plastic wrap as a sexy surprise, but we were out and this aluminum foil is getting itchy...
@naderdagher: If he pauses a video game to text you, he's probably already losing, no need to feel special or anything,