@fightforfood: I'm not saying Goldilocks was a piece of shit, but she broke into someone's house and just started eating their breakfast.
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@girl_a_whirl: [Exorcism] Priest: What is your name? Demon: Jim Wife: Jim who owes us $100 or hot Jim? Demon: Nice legs Carol Wife: Let's keep him. Next...
@KKAlThani: Kim and Kanye are now planning to have their wedding in Egypt. See Egyptians, things could always be worse.