@Uncul_Scientist: I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but he certainly did not hold back when I took him through the McDonald's drive thru.
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@Brianhopecomedy: WANTED: Sanity LAST SEEN: In store, right before I told my 4 year old that he couldn't get a new toy REWARD: 4 year old
@AndyAsAdjective: Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear? Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.
@RunwayDan: Sometimes when life closes one door it opens another, because apparently life is trying to air condition the whole damned neighborhood.
@katiefzack: I don't throw people under the bus because there's a chance they could lay flat in the center and not get hurt, which I'm not okay with.