@RidiculousSheri: I'm not saying I've got a girl crush on you, I'm just saying lesbiadorable together.
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@usermcuserface: No I don't want to go camping. I go to a dead end job 40+ hours a week just so I don't have to sleep outside.
@HomeProbably: The circus serves as a great analogy for marriage. You're either walking the tightrope or holding a chair because you told her to calm down.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: *looks at our pig* Which pig is she? Me: What do you mean? 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks?