@joeldanger: I'm not saying she has daddy issues but she only fills out credit cards for the instant approval.
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@clindsaysway: When no one stars a tweet, I tell myself it was probably appreciated by hundreds of shy people.
@thenatewolf: Go ahead, mate with someone who wears glasses, add to the degradation of our eyesight as a species. Not like there are bears we need to spot
@shutupmikeginn: I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.
@WheelTod: My key takeaway from Ghostbusters was that once you're dead, your Miranda rights don't count for shit.