@thentherewasmo: I'm not saying your cat doesn't care about you, I'm saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well
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@withanewname: Grim Reaper: I'm here for the sole! Waiter: *whimpering* omg can I... can I say bye to my family? Grim Reaper: uh, no, the fish special.
@Pundamentalism: Alligators can live up to 100 years, which is why there's an increased chance that they will see you later.
@mattZillaaaa: My friends definitely cannot handle their alcohol. Last night they dropped me 3 times carrying me out of the bar