@tweetcomedian: I'm not saying your dumb. I'm saying you're dumb.
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@Loli_Sug: Never kick a porcupine wearing flip flops. Cause they're obviously on vacation and why ruin their holiday?
@browneyegirl9: My boyfriend asked for a dirty pic last night, I was able to get my whole kitchen in the shot. That should last him a while! He's so weird.
@KalvinMacleod: [adrift at sea] CLOWN: no worries, we can use this helium canister to propel us to shore ME: *really squeaky voice* we need a different plan
@rachelle_mandik: Whoever made the almond-milk carton the exact same shape as the chicken-broth carton should have to eat this cereal.