@DevilryFun: I'm not scared I'll end up in an asylum after a breakdown. I'm scared someone will record it on their phone and I'll end up on a GIF.
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@dafloydsta: [getting a checkup] DOCTOR: On average, how much alcohol do you drink in a day? ME: *sweating* NO ONE SAID THERE WOULD BE ANY MATH
@MsSugar_Kisses: Listening to my coworker cry about her gag reflex not being able to swallow her allergy pills.. All I keep thinking is: Her poor boyfriend..