@Reel2Dialog2: I'm not seeing "cat herder" on any of these job websites.
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@hipstermermaid: Donald Trump is like the "Scream" movies in that he blurs the line between comedy and horror.
@TheReal_AndyMac: I was in a 3rd grade talent show and told a few jokes. I quickly got escorted off the stage because I'm 30 and should be at work.
@TheTweetOfGod: If you asked Jesus on the cross what he wanted the holiday marking his death to be called, "Good Friday" would not have leaped to his mind.
@gerryhallcomedy: Cop: Sir, you can't use hand-held communication devices while driving Me: [trying to hide ouija board] What are you talking about?