@BillArrundale: I'm not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to shit indoors.
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@max_pad21: Patient: "How much longer do I have doc? Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what?" Doctor: "Nine..."
@ValeeGrrl: Me: [in bathroom] 7yo: [knocks] MOMMY? Me: Yeah pal 7: IT'S ME Me: I know 7: YOUR SON Me: Knew that too
@Try2StopME: My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs... I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber.
@TheDreamGhoul: "you're breaking up with me, here? and now?!" "it's just not working out" *both continue pedaling tandem bicycle in silence*