@BillArrundale: I'm not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to shit indoors.
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@Izianikapani: Australia is touted as a great model of gun control but no one mentions our unlimited access to boomerangs.
@slyoung5: You're suppose to wear clean underwear in case you're ever in an accident. I wear a new pair of shoes every day in case a house lands on me.
@MyMomologue: What I thought I would say as a parent: "You are going to change the world." What I say as a parent: "Stop licking the window."