@BillArrundale: I'm not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to shit indoors.
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@juliecursively: HEY, mom of 3 unruly kids staring at her phone in the bookstore: ... Do you have a charger I can use?
@SteveKoehler22: [Mad scientist lamenting] "All that work, trying to create a perfect palindrome ..wasted! DAMMIT I'M MAD !" (Pauses) "Hey...wait
@dumbbeezie: Please pray for girls everywhere who are getting a "What's up" text right now Be strong. Don't answer. Eat ice cream.
@WhrTheBrainRots: If I consider you a friend, I'll be there for you. With an ear, a shoulder, a drill, a shovel, an alibi - whatever you need to feel better.