@CherBear162: I'm not surprised you had a facelift..but it looks like you are.
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@thejakeshenry: I was pretty excited about this box of elbows before I saw that it was only macaroni.
@sweetandweak: Daughter just asked me how to spell bourbon so she's either asking Santa to hook up her old man or writing a letter to child services.
@sofarrsogud: [Takes out scrunchie and shakes out my slicked back ponytail] Take the mugshot again.