@cheeky__gal: I'm not the girl you should put on speakerphone.
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@mynameisntdave: Wow, my son running for student body president just punched a kid on the school newspaper & then the school board made my son the principal.
@remington3000: I love Halloween because I can buy 9 bags of Snickers and everyone thinks I'm going to pass them out to kids.
@AnkCoupleTO: [in bed] Her: *seductively whispering* in the mood for a midnight snack? Me: *Oreo crumbs all over my face* I'm way ahead of you