@KKAlThani: I'm not the jealous type. And no I don't know why every time you talk to someone the police find their body dumped in a river the next day.
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@maurex23: WINDEX CEO: listen, I can't have you making puns anymore. EMPLOYEE: okay, I just want to make things clear-- CEO: you're fired.
@shashaintl: Handsome Stranger: Excuse me, but you're.. Me: Gorgeous & you've been mustering up the courage to speak to me? HS: ..blocking the pickles.
@ManJuggs: The guy I’ve been paying to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don’t own any animals.