@omically: I'm not transphobic, I used to play with toy locomotives all the time!
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@JohnLyonTweets: To everyone who received a file from me named myjunk.jpg: I thought I was sending you a photo of my garage sale. I am so, so sorry.
@NicestHippo: [Lions watching a romantic comedy about humans] Why doesn't he simply mount her with no apparent warning?
@kimtopher22: My neighbor accidentally called me "love" in a text looking for his cat and now we have more reason to never make eye contact again.