@omically: I'm not transphobic, I used to play with toy locomotives all the time!
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@CulturedRuffian: What do you mean my cats can't be dependents on my taxes?! I feed them, clothe them, & care for them! CPA: You clothe them? Shut it hater.
@david8hughes: [describing criminal to sketch artist] "No, no his nose was a bit more avant-garde than that. His eyes suggested he'd lost a ladder."
@TylerLinkin: Yesterday I fell, landed on my back, and could not roll over and get up. At the time I was wearing a Turtleneck Sweater.