@darkmatter_wimp: I'm on a new diet where all I eat is soup on weekdays. It's called: Miso Hungry.
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@68Cly29: The neighbors are looking at me strangely again. Like they have never seen a man sitting on his roof with a pair binoculars before.
@SteveDutzy: Sometimes I find myself feeling hopeful for the future of the human race but then I remember there are grown men who like My Little Pony.
@Robert_Beau: Me: 911? My wife and I have been in an accident and she hit the windshield! 911: How's her head? Me: Her sister's better.