@markleggett: I'm on the powerlifting forums, trying to convince everyone that kissing another man before you bench gives you an awesome adrenaline boost.
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@MarkoESQ: Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, it is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Says here you do magic tricks? ME: *hands him back his business card* Is this your card? INTERVIEWER: holy shit
@TheMainlandBlog: If I can make even one person laugh on here then I'm not doing my job. The job I actually get paid for.