@LuvPug: I'm only a vegetarian so people won't invite me anywhere
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@BriarSlyMadness: If you're ever attacked by a mob of angry Vegans... ...don't worry about it. They're too weak to hurt you.
@YoungNobler: New Facebook technology can identify faces with 97.25% accuracy, and then ask you if you want to tag that statue in the background.
@Fred_Delicious: Date - "I must admit, this is a really nice restaurant" Me - 😎 ... Date - "why did you say sunglasses emoji?"