@Jennarater: I'm only drinking two beers. Because I have self control and two beers
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@EBenita0517: I'm Puerto Rican, but not "carries a knife in my purse everywhere I go" Puerto Rican. Sometimes it's in my bra.
@T_Bonezzz_: [Movie: Romance] Him: [*At Airline Ticketing Counter] I need to get on the next flight to NY to tell my soulmate I love her! Airline Clerk: That'll be $4,433.56... Him: K... forget it...
@shutupmikeginn: Just saw an eagle swoop down and pick up a baby bunny, so cute when animals are friends!
@hippieswordfish: everyone's always asking me 'is your son named after the movie?' and I'm like no idiot Sharknado's 5 yrs old and the movie came out in 2013