@Jennarater: I'm only drinking two beers. Because I have self control and two beers
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@Gooooats: Her: Please stop having loud, moany, slapping sex in your tent. This is a family campground. Me: That was just me eating ribs.
@UncleDuke1969: ALERT At 9:20am, I lost an apostrophe. Last seen in the word "Let's". If you see it, please send it home. Its tweet misses it.
@WheelTod: Dating tip for ladies: some guys will be scared off if you don't wait until the third date before asking him to murder your husband.