@Jennarater: I'm only drinking two beers. Because I have self control and two beers
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@PYWL: I just saw a video of a snake that learned to open doors. I probably don't need to sleep anymore anyway.
@junejuly12: With sufficient velocity, any object can be an effective weapon. Unfortunately this kitten is not cooperating.
@Bdell1014: Having a crush on someone is so exciting. You know you'll end up ruining things like you always do, but how? The possibilities are endless.
@BlindChow: [breakfast in hell] STALIN: Toast is burnt POL POT: Eggs are rotten HITLER: I hate the juice STALIN: Oh here we go HITLER: I said JUICE