@Manda_like_wine: I'm only listening outside the bathroom door to make sure you're not touching the decorative hand towels.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Marcmywords2: Someone called me yesterday and said, "Hello, is this Ross" I said " no it's Chandler" And they hung up. So much for trying to be Friends.
@TheToddWilliams: ME: Honey, I bought a Pet Rock WIFE: A WHAT? ME: Shhh, you'll make him nervous DWAYNE JOHNSON: *already peeing all over the carpet*
@RunwayDan: You won't believe this, kids, but TV used to end. Every day. They played the national anthem, and then it just...stopped. Scary, huh?