@Manda_like_wine: I'm only listening outside the bathroom door to make sure you're not touching the decorative hand towels.
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@juneohara65: Doctor, reaching for a piece of paper: "Are you on any meds?" Me: "You might want to grab a notebook."
@ProdigyNelson: Lawyer: do you watch people use the bathroom? Defendant: no Lawyer: spell "ICUP" Defendant: I-C-U-P Judge: *softly* omg Jury: *whispering*
@TheCamelToe_: I swapped my wife's tampons with party poppers. Absolutely no sense of humour that girl..
@nwntwrth: a gang that's all undercover cops but they all think they're the only undercover cop in the gang