@nowarranty: I'm only two people away from having a love triangle.
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@LeviKabwato: Nephew drops my iPad, doesn't say sorry but proceeds to offer me a biscuit. His future in Politics is secure.
@Book_Krazy: Me: Excuse me sir, can you please forward my X-ray and breast exam results to my doctor Airport security:...
@SlabBaconBP: Could you Christian rock singers please invest in a thesaurus. I think God is fully aware by now that you think he is "great" and "awesome."
@saxbot: 9 out of 10 people agree that it's weird to stand on top of the toilet and ask them survey questions over the stall wall.