@Loli_Sug: I'm opening a funeral home that has a bar in it. I know right?
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@david8hughes: [bday party] Mum: happy birthday son Me: wow that's a huge cake! Mum: its full of bees Me: what Mum [backing away]: I said it's cream cheese
@bridger_w: "I'm sorry, but are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" -Fun way to confuse a waiter who just suggested a menu item
@Dani_Feld: I walked into a room full of men and they couldn't stop staring at me. Oh...wrong toilets.