@POTerritory: I'm Phoenician, as in, "Nobody better stop me from Phoenician all of these donuts."
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@stonedcoldlazy: Got a message from the anti virus app on my phone telling me Twitter was safe. Clearly, the app isn't reading your tweets or looking at pics
@TheCatWhisprer: My cat acts pretty tough for someone who disappears for 3 days anytime I sneeze.
@WheelTod: My boss has a rather shrill phone voice. I once spent 20m talking to him, before realizing it was actually someone trying to send us a fax.
@Adam14: My new bowflex comes tomorrow...so if anyone wants to buy a slightly used bowflex in a couple months let me know.