@daemonic3: I'm playing chess against my gardener. Your move, Jesus.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@trilldrone: "911 what's your em-" STAMPEDE "slow down sir" IN THE GORGE "sir I'm gonna need you t-" SIMBAS DOWN THERE
@envydatropic: In the 80s they used an egg in a frying pan to demonstrate a brain on drugs only because they didn't have Twitter in the 80s
@yoyoha: STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life
@BuckyIsotope: *hires sky writer to propose to psychic girlfriend* WILL YOU MARRY ME *2nd planes flies by 5 seconds later* HELL NO