@daemonic3: I'm playing chess against my gardener. Your move, Jesus.
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@alispagnola: Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you're better off staying home with no pants on.
@seantgreen: One of Jesus' most impressive accomplishments was being 33 years old and still having 12 really close friends.
@danimgrace: Take your husband’s last name. Take his first name. Take his social. Assume his identity. Hide the body in a closet. You’re the husband now.