@Sarcasticsapien: I'm pretty sure that the guy who wrote about the Apocalypse was a meteorologist.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: Her: Let's go see 50 Shades of Grey Me: Tonight? Her: Yes [After the movie] Her: OMG that was so hot! Me: Mom, please just stop talking
@SteveKoehler22: I went to school with a girl named Nonstick CookingSpray We tried calling her Pam ... but it didn’t stick.
@dksc4life: It was awkward to see the "World's Greatest Driver" bumper sticker on my car when it got pulled out of the lake today.
@Heather2Go: I'm so bad with directions that every time I try to go to Pound Town I end up in the Friend Zone.