@galiamango: I'm pretty terrified of the possibility that you guys might crawl out of my phone like that girl in The Ring.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kendragaylord: Me: Compassion is my compass. Him: We've been lost for 3 days and you gave your coat to a bear that looked cold.
@Shower4Thought: I wonder if a murderer has ever crossed my path, contemplated murdering me, and then thought "nah".
@msmegmensa: If burglars broke into my apt, they'd look around, shake their heads and leave me some cash with a note that says 'get yourself some shit!'
@robdelaney: Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge? Don't they want to get better?