@galiamango: I'm pretty terrified of the possibility that you guys might crawl out of my phone like that girl in The Ring.
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@ibid78: [me after 1 minute of jogging] this is good, this was a good decision [me after 3 minutes of jogging] life is suffering, there is no god
@TodaysResume: Include a snapshot of Doge the dog with your #resume. When asked about it during the interview, reply "What do you meme?"
@Xoolun: Cops: Jay X? Me: Yes. Cops: Your dog has been reported to have chased someone on a bike. Me: Thats bullshit my dog doesnt have a bike.
@MafiaJoker78: New neighbours just moved in... I baked them some goodies as a welcome & a warning to never eat at my house.