@VodkaThursday: I'm putting "open bar" on my invitations, but its gonna be a cash bar. Just because its my 3rd wedding doesn't mean u can skip it, slackers.
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@ericsshadow: [phone rings in 1984] "Eric get the phone" Hello? "Tell em I'm not home." She's not home. "Ask who it is." My mom wants to know who this is.
@Julian_Deane: Let’s move on now. if I had a pound for every time I heard a Brexit joke this week I’d nearly have a Euro.