@VodkaThursday: I'm putting "open bar" on my invitations, but its gonna be a cash bar. Just because its my 3rd wedding doesn't mean u can skip it, slackers.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: STAYCATION DAY 1: Filled the birdbath with Nescafé just to see the startled look on those vagrant House Finches.
@Bizarro_Mark: Do not tell a kid you didn't understand his joke unless you have 4 hours free to hear the explanation.
@ms_woodsy: Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women. For example, I found out Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them.
@trevso_electric: On a scale of 1 to girl who just got back from a semester abroad in Europe, how annoying are you?