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@WilliamRodgers: "I'm really good in bed"
@twylaredsun: Opportunity knocks once, however temptation likes to lean on the door bell.
@Vice_Queen: Sorry for loudly singing "Whoomp there it is!" when you took your pants off. It's been a while.
@Sean_Burgundy_: You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she organizes body parts in her freezer
@Rachelnoise: 15: MOM, WHERE'S MY NIRVANA SHIRT?!
Me: Name THREE songs & I'll help you look for it.
@Dawn_M_: Of course you can trust me with your secret.
*Calls local news team