@Adar79Angie: I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito. It was a Dorito in my bra.
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@YesItsAl: I'd like to be so rich I forgot what country I left my private jet at after a crazy weekend
@ericsshadow: [wife frantically searching the house] Have you seen the kids, I've looked everywhere [me napping on couch] OMG HOW LONG HAVE WE HAD KIDS
@boring_as_heck: [dumps gatorade on coach after losing the big game] we know how much you hate gatorade you piece of shit