@Cpin42: I’m sick of people blaming the Internet when someone gets killed. Watch the History Channel. Hitler didn’t find the Jews on craigslist.
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@DomBorrett: Making jokes on Twitter is a lot like making jokes in real life. Except without the frightened faces of strangers on buses
@enclaire: Bored, so I'm going to find a kid that looks like me and tell her I'm her from the future.
@MartaEffing: My date cancelled; said he had an emergency. I just saw him at the market buying cereal and I thought, 'I agree with his priorities.'
@badbanana: Can we still see the Grand Canyon from the air or has the government put a giant tarp over it?