@jake_likes_naps: I'm so committed to pizza that I've stopped wearing a condom when I eat it.
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@tastefactory: My cousin was Mulder on Halloween. He loves the X-Files! Oh stupid autocorrect. That should have said "murdered". And "loved", past tense.
@AnOrangeSNES: *An elf cop pulls Frodo riding an ent over* Elf Cop: Where ya going? Frodo: To throw a ring into a volcano! EC: Step out of the treehicle
@bridger_w: Shoplifting may be wrong in a general sense, but what if, for example, I'm bored of paying for things
@2tonbug: Kraft recalled 96,000 pounds of cheese-filled hot dogs. I recall 96,000 pounds of cheese-filled hot dogs too. That was one wild summer.