@jake_likes_naps: I'm so committed to pizza that I've stopped wearing a condom when I eat it.
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@Maxine12333: You can't go by good looks as not everything is as it seems. Remember The Trojan Horse, Snow White's apple and your ex.
@ericsshadow: My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted.
@MrsFancyPants77: I take spiders outside in stead of killing them because it's not their fault that I'm scared of them. I do however, scream while doing so.
@daemonic3: Is this your resume? "Yep" It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away "Oh yes" Welcome to UPS!