@jake_likes_naps: I'm so committed to pizza that I've stopped wearing a condom when I eat it.
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@FrogAvalanche:  One smoker left in the world. The Quit Smoking ads get personal. HEY KEVIN, STOP SMOKING. YOU STINK. YOUR WIFE SAYS YOU NEED VIAGRA.
@Papa_Mex: Wow some neighbors really freak out when they wake up on a Sunday morning and find me making myself some pancakes in their kitchen
@meganamram: Don't have money for a cab so I keep calling ambulances and telling them I feel better when I'm close to my destination
@marknorm: You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.