@XGroverX: "I'm so hungry, I could eat a human baby." Everyone in Whole Foods stares at me stunned "Corn-fed organic of course, I'm not a monster."
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@BillMc7: Taken 3 ~ It All Ends Here Taken 4 ~ Listen, We're Just As Surprised As You Are Taken 5 ~ Whaaaaat!? Yep...
@Brampersandon_: FIREMAN: this blaze is out of control ME: sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire F: what? No M: *already brandishing a flamethrower*
@Interdome: "Well, very clearly cats were sacred to them." - Archeologist who discovers the Internet
@EndhooS: [On a date at a restaurant] So this is nice huh? "Yea,uh, who's that?" *Dad is breathing on the window and writing 'VIRGIN' in the steam*