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@Thaat_guy: "I'm so over you."
- A blanket.
@WheelTod: [I open my lunchbox to find pair of wife's underwear]
But that means...
[Cut to my wife opening her lunchbox to find a pair of my underwear]
@trevso_electric: When your girlfriend is PMS'ing, cheer her up by showing her that "totally weird" text you got from your ex last night.
@attsmcjay: I'd imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
@bigdumbbrad: I only put one eye on my snowman. That way, if it ever comes to life, the lack of depth perception will give me a tactical advantage.
@sixfootcandy: *tries to mount a horse*
Horse: "I have a boyfriend."