@electrolemon: i'm so sorry sir, but we here at chase bank don't accept gun-for-money exchanges. and we need an amount, not just "all the money you got"
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@dril: if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
@AudreyPorne: an attractive man on the internet called me pretty, so I sent him my finger nails in the mail. i'm so nervous lol what if he doesn't reply??
@shawn_spree: If it wasn't for the internet, I would think "12 Years A Slave" was a movie about a guy exaggerating about the first 3 weeks of marriage.
@Breadery: When my kids misbehave we watch 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids' and then I make them stand in a giant Petri dish while I set up the machine.