@electrolemon: i'm so sorry sir, but we here at chase bank don't accept gun-for-money exchanges. and we need an amount, not just "all the money you got"
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@TheTweetOfGod: Bad weather is My way of temporarily punishing you. Bad climate is your way of permanently punishing you.
@AnissaClingman: My brother & I've competed for title of family black sheep for yrs. He checked in at a strip-club...on FB. Well played brother, well played
@findmydolls: 78, 68, 77, 69, 78, 68, 75, 65, 75, 67, 79, 60 My mom & me, changing the thermostat behind each other's backs.
@iGreenMonk: They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good - they just couldn't get a decent wi-fi signal.