@checkyourfox: I'm sorry I got you birth control for Christmas and said it was my gift to the world.
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@Mike__Lee: I'm sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they've won the Canadian lottery.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Today is Star Wars Day, which means we should all reflect on a simpler time in our lives, when Harrison Ford didn't have an earring.
@Ideal_Victoria: *crawls up from backseat* *slowly pulls off paper bag from head* What? No... I’m not embarrassed by your driving