@LackOfShame: I'm sorry I said your head looks too small to power your body.
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@Cherbearxo: I promised my trainer that I'd set a gym schedule I would commit to regularly. So, now every time there's a lunar eclipse I work out.
@ANNIEwayyyy: Just bought gas for $1.32/gallon. Don't own a car but couldn't pass up the bargain.
@Donnie_Fairburn: Just installed the iOS 9 update and I've already noticed a significant increase in my phone's battery life! This is aweso
@inojperez: [Family Dinner] Me: Grandma, please pass the updog. Sister: *Pinches bridge of her nose* Grandma: What's updog? Me: Not much, how about you?