@LackOfShame: I'm sorry I said your head looks too small to power your body.
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@ArfMeasures: SCIENTIST: I want you to meet my robot ME: Wow SCIENTIST: He has limited functionality. He can't hold a conversation or express emotion ME: Ok SCIENTIST: I was talking to the robot
@claire_mudie: My boyfriend is watching Glee voluntarily and tapping his foot and smiling. That makes me a lesbian now, right?
@HumorParasite: Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?