@JesKeepSwimming: I'm sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
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@Bearslietoo: Playing hard to get works with some men but apparently cops call it "resisting arrest."
@AbrasiveGhost: [Me as a Realtor] BUYERS: this is a great house, what's the catch? ME: Well, it is a bit.. [cant think of the word haunted] ghost encrusted
@BoozyMusic: "Good thing I guessed that today was probably a BYOB situation." -me, chaperoning the kindergarten field trip
@jonnysun: WHITE GIRL: im not a dog person, im not a cat person, im a people person ME: (whispering to my dog) i think that means she owns slaves