@Vodkantots: I'm starting to think the other moms might not like my nicknames for their kids.
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@Brianhopecomedy: I'm watching my 4 year old son give my 1 year old a hammer. He is so irresponsible.
@4handfuls: My kids always seem confident in making decisions until they have to decide which leg to put in their pants first...
@ariscott: [Day after Xmas] 7am: I am detoxing today, only fruit and liquids for me 9am: There are worse things than eating 14 cookies for breakfast
@SodomyClown: Fifty Shades of Grey instills that if a dude is sexy and rich you should allow him contractual ownership of your body because helicopters.