@MomOnFire: I'm starving and all I have is a refrigerator full of health food. I hate who I was four days ago.
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@katiefzack: I don't throw people under the bus because there's a chance they could lay flat in the center and not get hurt, which I'm not okay with.
@amjustspencer: Me: will I find true love? Ouji Board: A R E Y O U H U N G R Y Me: dammit grandma not now
@Brianhopecomedy: Got really excited when my wife said she was going to teach me something new in the bedroom until she started folding a fitted sheet.