@Coops_Bradley: I'm still not a member of Jem and the Holograms and that is truly truly truly outrageous.
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@internetluke: [Jaden Smith at aquarium] "...any questions?" Do Crabs Think Fish Can Fly? "No" What If Our Air Is Just Bird Water? "Huh" How Can Birds Be R
@Teowulf: I just had to add "velociraptor" to my Microsoft Word dictionary because apparently I missed the dinosaurs expansion pack or something.
@thestlouisan: [Texting] WIFE: Will you get coffee and a bagel for 6? ME: He's too young for coffee W: Coffee's for me M: Where's the comma? W: M: Hello?
@trevso_electric: I didn't flan on getting divorced and now my wife wants custardy and she's pudding our kids in the middle :(