@Adar79Angie: I'm still waiting for my knight in shining sarcasm.
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@noneofyours99: That awkward moment when you accidently knock a 90 year old over trying to get to the buffet first.
@Horrorsc0pes: The seven new planets cause havoc with your readings. There is nothing but chaos and pain and, for some reason, hot singles in your area.
@Donnie_Fairburn: [On a treadmill next to a girl at the gym] Me: *Out of breath* Feeling the burn? Her: Yup Me: Me too! Her: How? Your machine isn't even on