@TheMichaelRock: I'm straight, but I'm not "wouldn't spoon with George Clooney" straight.
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@nbadag: DEMON: [roars] KNEEL, MORTAL—IT IS I, BAELROTH THE SPOON-HIDER ME: omg what're u gonna do to me? DEMON: were—were you not listening just now
@thtchicmichelle: Sent this guy 27 texts in the last hour and haven't heard back so I guess I should probably drive over to his house and make sure he's okay.
@BradBroaddus: I don't always eat breakfast in my underwear but when I do, I get escorted out of Waffle House.
@mrtruthandsoul: Darth Vader: Join me on the Dark Side, Luke! Luke: I'll never join you! Vader: We have flex hours and Pizza Fridays! Luke: NOOOOOO!!!