@Kyle_Lippert: I'm such a disaster that 9/11 and The Titanic would go out on a date together and watch a movie about me.
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@ItsJayWhittaker: "You miss 100% of the shots you never take." - Wayne Gretzky "You miss 100% of the shots you DO take." - Stormtroopers
@theshamingofjay: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like shit until you have something someone else needs
@ddsmidt: X-rays are dangerous, they were probably less harmful when they were just rays, but after the breakup...
@iwearaonesie: Me*taps wife's shoulder*Whatcha doin? wife:Meditating me*still tapping*Why? wife: It helps me relax me*still tapping* Is it working? wife:No