@aveuaskew: I'm supposed to be afraid of you because you are a twitter badass? What are you going to do, caps lock me?
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@StarWarsProblms: *primitive gungans defeat battle droids* *Stone Age ewoks beat elite stormtroopers* *improbable underdog story defeats logic and reason*
@ScottLinnen: You really dropped the ball today Ted. You're fired. "Please, no. I can try harder." You operate a wrecking crane, man. People died.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: WHO DREW ON THE WALL?! 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: The dog.
@KendellMadden: "I know, right?!!" Is the WRONG thing to say when my neighbor tells me that his wife is wild in bed. Lesson learned.