@JeremyKCMO: 'I'm sure it's just water,' I mumble as I sit down on the gas station toilet.
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@jergarl: I wanna join a gang so I can get in a street fight with a rival gang and intimidatingly snap my fingers to a clever song about friendship.
@nbadag: WIFE: please come out of there so we can talk ME: [from cardboard box] i'm sorry come out of where? WIFE: [sigh] please exit the spacecraft
@gwatts77: Judging by how all of these ladies tweet about cucumbers I'm pretty sure size does matter because I never see them tweeting about carrots :(
@fart: i made the mistake of watching a single zit popping video on youtube and now my recommendations screen is trying to make me barf