@JeremyKCMO: 'I'm sure it's just water,' I mumble as I sit down on the gas station toilet.
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@VictorscarletJ: I know we just got divorced, but would you mind showing my girlfriend how to make an omelet the way I like them?
@envydatropic: Friends don't let friends drive drunk but I don't want them staying at my house And that's why Uber was created
@EtobicokeErnie: My neighbour is on his front porch wearing a Halloween mask and oven mitts while trying to remove a wasps nest. This should be interesting.