@JeremyKCMO: 'I'm sure it's just water,' I mumble as I sit down on the gas station toilet.
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@Home_Halfway: KIDNAPPER: Get in the trunk ME: You're abducting me 4 days before Christmas? K: Heh yep ME: Omg thank you K: What ME: I'm all yours K: Wait
@bornmiserable: Jay Z: Can I get a what what? Teacher: Jay Z, can you or may you? Jay Z: SORRY MAY I GET A WHAT WHAT Teacher: Yes, you may get a what what.
@SodomyClown: The Nationwide commercial didn't make me feel anything but I once dropped my chicken nuggets and cried for an hour and forty minutes.
@robdelaney: How did SkyMall go bankrupt? I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.