@SamGrittner: I'm surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn't incorporated into more American Holidays.
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@ThaJawn: Clown: OMG! I just crashed my car! Clown 911: We are dispatching 20 ambulances to your location
@deardilettante: I am literally the only one at this baby shower who turned up with champagne & a coat hanger.
@reczit: Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM.