@Vanilla_cupcak: I'm terrified to death of someone stealing my identity and improving my credit
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@DirtMcTurd: Press 1 for English. Press 2 for spanish. Press 1 and 2 at the same time for the latest Pitbull song
@ceejoyner: Why don't you get back in your little car with lights and pull over someone who cares.
@PhilLaysheO: Write a suicide note on Facebook and they try to talk you out of it. Write a suicide note on Twitter and they correct your grammar.
@CruisinSoozan: I don't want to alarm anyone but I've purchased a ukulele. Soon as I can jam, there'll be auditions for my band behind the 7-11. NO WEIRDOS