@osoplain: I'm texting hubs a grocery list one item at a time so he can experience his phone blowing up
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@HollyMemphis: When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
@KenJennings: *Jesus comes into the house* Judas: Jesus, close the door! Were you born in a barn? *room gets super quiet* Judas: Uh right. I forgot. Sorry
@HumbleTeej: I didn't want to be the one to have to do this but I'm not here to make friends and I have to tell the truth: coconut water is disgusting